Strip Down!
by SteelShadowFang
Summary: Ok easy explantion you ask the questions they answer. All the Espada and Ex-Espada. Please Ask! Ratings may change do to how... graphic the questions become!XD And please PLEASE review it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside!
1. Chapter 1

Me: Hi welcome to the "Strip down the Espadas Show" Wahahahahahahaha!

Orihime: Yaaaaa! STRIP PARTY! (Begins taking off clothes)

Me: Wait! Not that kind strip party! Here we expose the Espadas deepest and darkest secrets! Wahahahahahahaha! I will make them all suffer!

Orihime: (looks at me like I'm demented) But what have they ever done to you?

Me: Well…I got it! Stark for being lazy! Barragan for being an old fart! Halibel for having such big boobs! (I'm jealous!) Ulquiorra for being so gloomy! Nnoitra for being an enemy to the female race! Grimmjow for having wicked hair (note to self: ask him where he gets his jell!) what's-he's-face for having a stupid looking Zanpakutō! Szayel for having pink hair and being gay! Yammy for being overweight!

Orihime: Wow! ...You really don't like them do you?

Me: No! I LOVE them. Except for the pervert (throws a knife at Nnoitra's picture.)

Me: Anyway, basically you ask questions and they'll answer. Simple! Now where is my tranquilizer?

Orihime: Eh…why do you need a tranquilizer?

Me: What?! haven't you heard of an ambush! Do you think they come willingly! you got to knock them out then tie them up and ship them here!

Orihime: But aren't the Espada dangerous?

Me: Don't worry I've got it all planed out!

Orihime: Ok then…while she's committing suicide, you should send some questions so eh… her parents can put it on her grave.

Me: Don't worry I won't die! But please send questions so I can post them! And also for every chapter you'll get to vote on which Espada to interview. So send those messages! (Note: you can also vote for ex-Espadas like Nel)


	2. Chapter 2

Wow 6 reviews that's the most I've had in like ever! Unfortunately I wasn't able to answer all of them but I'm just work with one guest at a time the next one is Nnoitra!

Rukia: "Ok! We've got 5 reviews so that's a start. Now where is Mana with the Espada?"

Me: "Help me…" (Looks likes she's been stepped on by a menos)

Rukia: Why are there seven boxes I thought there was only six being asked?

Me: Ya... (Uncomfortable silence)…Ummm…Sorry Rukia but Nel's replacing you…

Me: Ow! She hits hard! Man as if I haven't been abused enough lately!

Nel: (Waves at camera) "Hi Ichigo!"

Me: "Ok we better get this show on the road!"

Grimmjow: "Damn…she's so retarded…"

Me: (Goes to boll in the emo corner)

Two minutes later…

Me: "Ok first question." (Shoots evil look at Grimmjow all the other Espada also present) "Is from _Master Bleach"_

Grimmjow-do you like Orihime?

Grimmjow: "What the fuck!" (Grabs sheet from Mana)

Grimmjow: "Why the fuck did you ask that question first?" (Point's to where a compliment was located)

Me: "Because I want to make you suffer! Mahahahahaha!"

Nnoitra: "Wow she's even more insane then Aizen!"

Nel: "Mana-san…"

Me: "Anyway so do you like Orihime?"

Grimmjow: "...No"

Me: "I hear denial!"

Grimmjow: "Shut up! So what if I do?"

Me: "Even if you did it would be one sided. Orihime belongs to Ulquiorra!"

Ulquiorra: (shifts uncomfortably towards the door) …"

Grimmjow: "Shut up emo fag!" (Gets whacked by my what-did-you-just-say?! Glove) "Shut up LITTER!"

Halibel: "Well that was…unique."

Grimmjow: "What you call me bitch?" (Begins tearing up the furniture)

Nel: "Guys…let's focus here! I LOVE STRAWBERRY!!! But I'm allergic to them."

No one responds…

Me: "Ok so Grimmjow likes Orihime even if he won't admit it! Too bad! Cause Ulquiorra has already claimed her!"

Nel: "I might be wrong here but…um your profile says that you hate UlquiorraxOrihime. I LOVE PIE!

Everyone: "Random…"

Me: "I do but hey! It's way better then OrihimexGrimmjow!" (Sorry if I've offended anyone)

Grimmjow: "Well thanks!" (Takes my place in the emo corner)

Me: Ok next one is from _El Que Llora_

_Ok, i have few questions for Ulquiorra-san. How can you wash or brush your hair with that kind of mask on your head?? Oh, and do you have any brother when you were human? (L Lawliet, perhaps? ;))_

Me: "I've been curious about that one too. How do you wash your hair?"

Ulquiorra: "My mask attaches there so I don't have any hair on the left side of my head. That is how Aizen-sama made me."

Me: "Wow he even considered you personal hygiene. What a great(ly retarded) guy."

Stark: "You just hit a nerve there…" (Starts snoring)

Ulquiorra: "Do not insult Aizen-sama!"

Me: "Ok ok don't blow a blood vessel!"

Me: "So anyways got any siblings? He's a death note character by the way better known as L."

Ulquiorra: Stares at picture no emotions (naturally!) then: "La! I want to go to LA!!!!!!"

Everyone: "…"

Ulquiorra: (résumés unemotional starchier) "No I do not know this man."

Me: "Ok then… this one's from akumaxkami"

Ok here's a question.

How does Ulquiorra really feel about Orihime?

Me: "Ok no offence but it's obvious! He is in love with her!"

Ulquiorra: "Ridiculous I tried to kill the woman."

Me: "… (Sweats drops)…you've got a good point there… But when you died you reached for her hand!"

Ulquiorra: "…how did you know about that?!"

Me: "Sorry man but EVERYONE knows about that! That's basically where the rumor of UqluiorraxOrihime came from!"

Ulquiorra: "(starts scribing in a note book) note to self: kill the author."

Everyone: "…wow evil!"

Me: "Ok now it's Stark's turn to suffer. Wahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

Nel: (copies Mana) Wahahahaha… (Hiccups) woops… (Sends cero flying towards Stark, hits him and blows off his goatee).

Stark: Why me? (Rubes spot)

Me: Cause you're lazy! Now this one is from

Stark-Are you Narcaleptic?

Me: So are you?

Stark: What's a… (Drops out cold and starts snoring)

Me: It's a person who has a chronic sleeping disorder. The subjects will likely experience disturbed nocturnal sleep, which is often confused with insomnia and disorder of REM or rapid eye movement … (I put that in my own words)… so have any of those symptoms? (Swear drops when I find Stark snoring in his chair). Well there you have it!

Nnoitra: Geeze what a nerd!"

Me: At least I have a brain! You're too stupid to tell your head from your spoon!

Nnoitra: What was that bitch!

Me: (Pushing my luck) YA! You're just a little pussy who tried to attack Grimmjow when he was down! Cheater! (Grimmjow stops balling and we can all feel his spiritual energy rising) Not to mention you asked Ulquiorra if he's fucked Orihime yet! (Ulquiorra's hand reaches out of his pocket) And you think females are inferior to males! (Halibel draws for her zanpaktou) You broke Nel's mask and almost raped her! (Nel forms cero preparing to blast him into next week) Oh Ya! And last week you were laughing about how you murdered Szayel experiment (pulls out a Nnoitra doll and starts squeezing)

Me: (Gives a well-this-is-going-to-get-bloody-I'll-be-out-back-if-you-need-me look and runs for her life)

Nnoitra: "Sure I'll take you all on!" (Gets beaten till no one recognizes him)

Me: (Walks back with a cheery look on her face) "Hey nice mess! Is it over?"

Nel: "Yep that was fun!"

Me: "Ok so now that Nnoitra has learned his lesson…Starks asleep so we're going to have to switch to Nel."

Nel: "But I'm the interrogator! I LOVE VANILLA FLAVORED PIZZA!"

Me: "Ok then….when this is over you can drop by Orihime's place…home to illegal recipes!"

Nel: "Ya! Ok!"

Me: So this one's from senbonzakurablues

Neliel-How did you get your hair so green?

Nel: "Well I was originally a red-head but Nnoitra made fun of my hair so I ran away from La Noches and got stuck in a bush. When I came out it was like this. (Points to green hair)"

Me: "Cool! (Squeals like fan girl) I want some too!"

Nel: "Sure!" (Hands me a big bush and I start rubbing my head against it)

Me: "So why do you have the bush with you?"

Nel: "All the hosts that have interviewed me have asked for the green bush!"

Me: Wow everyone? Ya that proves that I'm not insane!

Everyone: "you are!"

Me: (joins Grimmjow in the emo corner)

Me: "Ok I feel like making someone suffer so…" (Drags Grimmjow from his corner)

Grimmjow: "Can't I go?"

Me: "Nope you've got more questions." (Drops him on chair and sticks a lolly up his food hole)

Me: Ok so this one's from grimmjow rox my sox

Grimmjow I'm super insanely jealous of your teal hair I want teal hair do you dye it or is that your natural hair color

Grimmjow: What? If you think I had to cheat to get this awesome hair (checks himself out in the mirror) then you better hope I never find you!

Me: So you're born with blue hair…so you're technically a blue cat…DON'T BE SAD WE'RE ALL HERE FOR YOU!

Grimmjow: "Fucking bitch!"

Me: "Watch you're language! I want to keep it a T rating you know!"

Grimmjow: "T's gay"

Me: "So are you! And we'll expose that fact when you answer this question from senbonzakurablues!"

Grimmjow- Do you have a secret stash of catnip hidden somewhere? And do you have a secret crush on any of the other Espada?

Grimmjow: "Dah! I practically live of catnip and for love…none."

Me: "You hesitated!"

Grimmjow: "Shut the fuck up!"

Me: "Ladies and Gentlemen (No! I sound Like Aizen!) Girls and toddlers I think we all can agree on one thing."

Everyone: "You like ULQUIORRA!"

Grimmjow: "Who'd like that bastard anyway?"

Me: "Ow! But you never denied it! And you know if you pretend you really really hate someone it usually means you really really like them."

Grimmjow: "…"

Me: HAHAHAHAHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Ok so that pretty much answers your question. And yours too star-stickies

Me: So that regretfully brings us to the end of this show. But toon in next time for Nnoitra I also answer your Szayel and Halibel questions too (sorry to those that didn't get their questions answered. I'll make sure to get them on here next time. I could only do four Espada a once.)


End file.
